Thursday, July 01, 2010
HAS IT BEEN A YEAR?
This is a disgrace... sheer insanity! It looks like I haven't blogged in over a year.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Am I really here?
So I haven't blogged in a few months, I know...
But I guess I'm in Beirut right now or to be more specific Khalde(Abu Deeb street)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalde
Everything just seemed to have happened so fast,I was just packing my bags a few hours ago, literally.The plane ride was a complete trance of nausea and sleeplessness, but to my satisfaction Dubai had some of the most convenient bathrooms I've seen at an airport yet..It was my first time taking a non stop flight, it was supposedly 15 hours but due to technical difficulties it was more like 18.I watched three Lebanese films, two which were directed by Marwan Najjar and of course the award winning, "Caramel".
When we finally arrived in Beirut, all of the passengers were dashing out of their seats, and the flight attendants were screeching for everyone to sit down.Regardless of how long one stays abroad in the diaspora, once you set foot back in Lebanon all boundaries are broken.
The airport was a tad bit of a disappointment for me there as there was no toilet paper, or paper towels! Right after our passports were stamped we had to get our bags searched.I didn't quite understand why and I told my dad to just go ahead and that it was unnecessary.But he went anyways and got in some sort of misunderstanding with the security.It was funny how he kept referring to my dad as "kareem". I felt as if we were in Sryia, no offense to any Syrians but your checkpoints are a living nightmare! And then as we were exiting the airport my bag got caught in the automatic turning glass door and it started beeping,I hope they dont have cameras.
But I guess I'm in Beirut right now or to be more specific Khalde(Abu Deeb street)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalde
Everything just seemed to have happened so fast,I was just packing my bags a few hours ago, literally.The plane ride was a complete trance of nausea and sleeplessness, but to my satisfaction Dubai had some of the most convenient bathrooms I've seen at an airport yet..It was my first time taking a non stop flight, it was supposedly 15 hours but due to technical difficulties it was more like 18.I watched three Lebanese films, two which were directed by Marwan Najjar and of course the award winning, "Caramel".
When we finally arrived in Beirut, all of the passengers were dashing out of their seats, and the flight attendants were screeching for everyone to sit down.Regardless of how long one stays abroad in the diaspora, once you set foot back in Lebanon all boundaries are broken.
The airport was a tad bit of a disappointment for me there as there was no toilet paper, or paper towels! Right after our passports were stamped we had to get our bags searched.I didn't quite understand why and I told my dad to just go ahead and that it was unnecessary.But he went anyways and got in some sort of misunderstanding with the security.It was funny how he kept referring to my dad as "kareem". I felt as if we were in Sryia, no offense to any Syrians but your checkpoints are a living nightmare! And then as we were exiting the airport my bag got caught in the automatic turning glass door and it started beeping,I hope they dont have cameras.
Monday, February 02, 2009
it's official
2/2
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
Saturday, January 31, 2009
notes from the bus
Opening my keepsake box, reminiscing on the past...letters, postcards,ticket stubs, and photos.I find a particularly thought-provoking note.Two years ago... why had I waited so long to reply? There could have been more then a hundred and one reasons why I couldn't contact you.I should have let it go, but I decided to hold on.I feel sorry for what an unsentimental person you are.You have absolute zero knowledge on the essence of nostalgia.Your decaying memory is utterly despairing.
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
Friday, January 09, 2009
Coming of Age
I have been counting the days ... and today marks the end of the first week of the new year. Three weeks left until I am an adult ... a full fledged member of society. I will be 18.
As accustomed when a birthday proceeds to slither and lurk around, the typical questions are asked. My answer is freedom and respect.
So does my period of adolescence end once I turn 18? Do I began to take complete responsibility for my actions or do I still get an allowance of two more years to discover myself, considering that the particular suffix "teen" is still attached to me for a little while longer? I never had much of a fulfilling childhood and now my so called “teenage hood” is over as well .I’m rebelling.
I can’t conceive the idea that I actually started this blog three years ago. I often go back and read posts from the previous years and laugh, thinking how something of such frivolity could be of any importance. I am always tempted to delete them but then I pause… and let them be. I keep them there to see my progression throughout time, I suppose. I want to change the name of my blog and the layout. I have been debating this for months now.
It's been a while since I have really written anything... Could be writers block, possibly loss of confidence, or post partum depression. Maybe even a bit of bi polar or borderline personality disorder. I just love to label myself.I have more than I can bear to hold in one palm to reflect upon. I seem to be at ease with my expression via short stories.
People have accused me of being evasive or a communist because I usually jump and plunge from topic to topic. But they cannot apprehend or even began to perceive what is in my head. They do not know that my thoughts are overflowing and tend to accidently spill, dripping leaving trails of my presence and aspirations.The past few years of my life have consisted of complete obsession with marriage and other sort of explorations that shall not be named (hint starts with the letter "s").
I have made a compromise to postpone marriage for a few years but I will not postpone my education as well. I’ll be willing to forget about marriage for a while if you allow me to drown in an endless pool of books, reading and only coming to the shallow surface for a breath of air.
You accuse me of wanting to grow up too fast. I know what I want from life and I’m going to get it, that’s all it really is. Some things have become more or less of a priority for me. Maybe my ultra passive personality has forced me to have an aggressive outlook on life. I can change my mind as I please, so I am kindly asking you not to interfere with my changes. “A wise man changes his mind, a fool never”
Being Arab has never felt so arbitrary for me. I’m not losing my religion I just refuse to associate myself with sectarianistic ideologies and live off an illusion called Arab nationalism.
I hear the news in the background
As accustomed when a birthday proceeds to slither and lurk around, the typical questions are asked. My answer is freedom and respect.
So does my period of adolescence end once I turn 18? Do I began to take complete responsibility for my actions or do I still get an allowance of two more years to discover myself, considering that the particular suffix "teen" is still attached to me for a little while longer? I never had much of a fulfilling childhood and now my so called “teenage hood” is over as well .I’m rebelling.
I can’t conceive the idea that I actually started this blog three years ago. I often go back and read posts from the previous years and laugh, thinking how something of such frivolity could be of any importance. I am always tempted to delete them but then I pause… and let them be. I keep them there to see my progression throughout time, I suppose. I want to change the name of my blog and the layout. I have been debating this for months now.
It's been a while since I have really written anything... Could be writers block, possibly loss of confidence, or post partum depression. Maybe even a bit of bi polar or borderline personality disorder. I just love to label myself.I have more than I can bear to hold in one palm to reflect upon. I seem to be at ease with my expression via short stories.
People have accused me of being evasive or a communist because I usually jump and plunge from topic to topic. But they cannot apprehend or even began to perceive what is in my head. They do not know that my thoughts are overflowing and tend to accidently spill, dripping leaving trails of my presence and aspirations.The past few years of my life have consisted of complete obsession with marriage and other sort of explorations that shall not be named (hint starts with the letter "s").
I have made a compromise to postpone marriage for a few years but I will not postpone my education as well. I’ll be willing to forget about marriage for a while if you allow me to drown in an endless pool of books, reading and only coming to the shallow surface for a breath of air.
You accuse me of wanting to grow up too fast. I know what I want from life and I’m going to get it, that’s all it really is. Some things have become more or less of a priority for me. Maybe my ultra passive personality has forced me to have an aggressive outlook on life. I can change my mind as I please, so I am kindly asking you not to interfere with my changes. “A wise man changes his mind, a fool never”
Being Arab has never felt so arbitrary for me. I’m not losing my religion I just refuse to associate myself with sectarianistic ideologies and live off an illusion called Arab nationalism.
I hear the news in the background
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sofien’s Voyage to San Francisco
The dusty roads of Ben Arous were filled with young boys and girls playing ball. Humidity diffused the air as sweat trickled down their olive skinned foreheads.
"Sofien come inside the cous cous is getting cold, you can play football later”, beckoned his mother.
Sofien cantered as fast as he could, envisioning the melting morsels of semolina in his mouth. Alas, he arrived removing his shoes by the door and sitting crossed legged aside his younger siblings eating supper.
Sofien and his friend Muneer were in the university café drinking mint tea as they saw an ad posted on the front wall. Une fois de temps en temps la vie voyage, gagner deux billets pour l’Amerique…
“We have to find a way to raise money for that trip”, said Sofien.
Muneer lightheartedly laughed at Sofien and said, “Ya sadiqi Sofien you are majnoun! Yalla lets go to class.”
After class Sofien sauntered home slowly and contemplated the ad, determinedly he walked to the city to look for a job. Throughout the two months Sofien worked as a delivery boy in the afternoon and studied at night. With a week left until the trip Sofien and Muneer still didn’t have enough money. Sofien called his uncle in France to send him 500 francs, begged his brother for 800 dinars, and then received 1,600 Deutsche Marks from a friend in Germany.
Counting the money on the cold damp kitchen floor they were short of exactly one dinar, Sofien and Muneer began too look ubiquitously. The house muddled and cluttered, Sofien inexplicably found a dinar in his back pocket.
The week until December 23 was ceaseless perpetuity that felt to have no end. With Sufien’s bags packed, shirt neatly ironed and tucked in; his mother kissed him on his forehead as a tear seeped through her ebony colored eyes on to her cheek.
"May God be with you my dearest son”, cried Sofien’s mother: as she waved goodbye.
Rushing to find a taxi on time to get to the airport, they haggled with the taxi driver and were on their way to Tunis-Carthage International Airport. Sofien and Muneer were the last two people to board on flight 747. There weren’t any seats left in the economy class section, so they were given first class seats. The plane ride to New York was an envisagement of euphoric rapture. The first thing their eyes caught sight of was Times Square; the hotel was only about 6 or 7 blocks away.
As they arrived to the hotel, they set their luggage down in the far corner of the room and spotted 2 bottles of champagne on the bed. Sofien and Muneer both gave each other witty looks; they had an idea. They had heard partying a few doors down as they were on their way up to their hotel. So Sofien and Muneer knocked, and a man with a tie around his head and vomit on his shirt opened the door.
"Hello Mr. would you like to buy these bottles of champagne from us” cachinnated, Sofien.
"Ya… Ya … wait one minute… pal… let me get my uh… cash”, slurred the intoxicated man.
The amount of money that the man handed Sofien and Muneer was rather hefty. They both divided the money equally. Sofien bought a ticket to San Francisco while Muneer moved to the South End of Boston.
As Sufien began walking between the intersection of Haight and Ashbury, he came across a petite sized restaurant called Le Kerkennah. Sufien ordered a plate of cous cous and merguez, the food tasted distinctively familiar. As he closed his eyes, he remembered playing football outside with his friends on the dusty road of Ben Arous while his mother was calling him inside to eat lunch.
Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to ~ John Ed Pearce
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I have demised to remember what I was looking for. Am I searching for something that I’m afraid to find? I thought that if I got lost, I would find myself. Nothing and everything feels like home. Where exactly do I belong? To which ism do I relate to?
Emotionless and numb. I’m tired, bent, and broken. What do I have to lose? Taking myself for granted in moments of frustration. Advantages of the innocent. Hiding from the world... Escaping in my own desperate insanity; wandering in my diminutive pandemia.
This forbidden adrenaline rush is iniquitous, but it feels so concupiscence. Guilty with pleasure. Superficial power. Getting high off an illusion.
Too numb to apprehend. How can I have a sense of right and wrong if I’m not alive anymore? How can I write about life when I’m not living a tale to tell?
Wake me up from this dream. Arouse me insightfully. Induce my unconscious emotions.
Echoing voice in the back of my head
I only wanted love
Longing aesthetics
The nature of sensation
Talks of food, الجنس ,and family: eat, love, and pray. I used to live off a prayer.
When will tonight come?
Why am I waiting?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
This was an interview that I did a few months back.It was my first ever via telephone.My voice was trembling; I was quite nervous and in awe with admiration that I could barely speak.
Interview with Sharif Abdunnur
Interview with Sharif Abdunnur
A very good friend of Al Nabad and a multi talented artist; Sharif Abdunnur is a genuine writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer. The soft spoken and very handsome Abdunnur told us a little about his current projects and gave us an inside scoop about his personal life.
Q: Did you have interest in fine arts as a child?
A: As a child I used to paint a lot and I won several awards for drawing. My interest in fine arts began when I was a little older.
Q: You were born in Lebanon and moved in the United States while you were younger, what made you move back to Lebanon?
A: I lived all around the world but the closest thing to home was Lebanon . Ideally I would like to go back to Palestine . But unfortunately I can only go as a tourist.
Q: What were some of the places that you traveled to while you were a child?
A: My family and I traveled all around the sates and we often went to Iraq because my father had work there.
Q: Your parents were members of the UN; did that inspire to write the play Unacceptable?
A: Not really. I think world relief organizations have failed to produce any real achievements and are not making any effective changes in the world, and their failure to make any significant changes in the world despite their billions of dollars that they have. Just like any other organization is audited I think the UN should be audited as well.
Q: On an average how often do you produce or write plays?
A: I am constantly writing and every couple weeks I write plays. But it takes a lot of time to produce plays, so not every thing I write is always made into a project that is produced.
Pain and conflict can sometimes be inspirations for writing.
Q: What do you think of theater in the Middle East?
A: It has a lot of space. Theater in the Middle East really needs to be supported by the local government. And with film it’s hard to complete with Hollywood . So the only way to preserve our true identity as Arabs is through theater.
Q: When you are acting do you ever get stage fright?
A: Yes, every single time. It’s actually a great way to loose weight.
Q: How has the war affected your work? And if it has, has it affected you positively or negatively?
A: I grew up on the front lines and have experienced war since I was a young child. War has made me realize what my main priorities are. It has been such a big factor and supplement in my life.
Q: What is it like working with Jawad al Assadi?
A: He is a good friend and a great man. He is one of the toughest directors out there because he is constantly creating and recreating. I’m currently the director of his new theater Babel . It has been very nice working with him even though he is a tough cookie.
Q: Who do you enjoy working the most with in theater?
A: I enjoy working the most with kids and teens, and especially with the children in the refugee camps. I consider my work more of a passion than just a career. It is truly a unique and wonderful feeling working with the kids.
Q: Who are some of your influences?
A: I like a lot of artists and painters but my number one inspiration and idle is my mother. I really look up to her a lot.
Q: You are a writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer, how are you able to manage your time?
A: The truth is my personal life is my work. Most of my work is not paid for, only the lecturing at the university. The people at my work are friends and not just colleagues.
Q: What does laughter mean to you?
A: Laughter is the ultimate escape. It can cure many things from frustration to anger and sadness. The beauty is when you laugh you can’t focus on anything else but just laughing. The whole world just fades away and you can’t feel anything but happiness.
Even if you are in the worst of situations once you start laughing you forget everything.
It’s a really magical feeling.
Q: Can you relate to any of the characters in some of the plays that you have written?
A: With anything that I write, the characters personally reflect me or are a part of my life. I couldn’t write anything that is not genuine.
Q: What achievements do you think you are most famously well known for?
A: Internationally I think it would be Laughter Under the Bombs; a book documenting the war in 2006 as well as looking at drama as a from of therapy. Also The Secret Life of a Woman and The Secret’s of Men; which addressed male and female sexuality in the Arab world and the issues and pressures that come with it.
Personally I enjoy working as a circus clown juggler. I like going to the refugee camps and performing for the children. It’s spontaneous and unplanned and brings a smile to the children’s face which brings so much joy into life.
Q: How has drama therapy helped young adults with coping with the war and dealing with stress in general?
I had the young adults work with the children. And I think it really helped them gain confidence and gave them a sense of purpose in life, because it’s a lot easier to worry about someone else than to worry about yourself. As a child I learned that you need to enjoy and live your life regardless of what is happening around you.
http://www.theatreversusoppression.com/biosharif.htm
http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/808/cu2.htm
Q: Did you have interest in fine arts as a child?
A: As a child I used to paint a lot and I won several awards for drawing. My interest in fine arts began when I was a little older.
Q: You were born in Lebanon and moved in the United States while you were younger, what made you move back to Lebanon?
A: I lived all around the world but the closest thing to home was Lebanon . Ideally I would like to go back to Palestine . But unfortunately I can only go as a tourist.
Q: What were some of the places that you traveled to while you were a child?
A: My family and I traveled all around the sates and we often went to Iraq because my father had work there.
Q: Your parents were members of the UN; did that inspire to write the play Unacceptable?
A: Not really. I think world relief organizations have failed to produce any real achievements and are not making any effective changes in the world, and their failure to make any significant changes in the world despite their billions of dollars that they have. Just like any other organization is audited I think the UN should be audited as well.
Q: On an average how often do you produce or write plays?
A: I am constantly writing and every couple weeks I write plays. But it takes a lot of time to produce plays, so not every thing I write is always made into a project that is produced.
Pain and conflict can sometimes be inspirations for writing.
Q: What do you think of theater in the Middle East?
A: It has a lot of space. Theater in the Middle East really needs to be supported by the local government. And with film it’s hard to complete with Hollywood . So the only way to preserve our true identity as Arabs is through theater.
Q: When you are acting do you ever get stage fright?
A: Yes, every single time. It’s actually a great way to loose weight.
Q: How has the war affected your work? And if it has, has it affected you positively or negatively?
A: I grew up on the front lines and have experienced war since I was a young child. War has made me realize what my main priorities are. It has been such a big factor and supplement in my life.
Q: What is it like working with Jawad al Assadi?
A: He is a good friend and a great man. He is one of the toughest directors out there because he is constantly creating and recreating. I’m currently the director of his new theater Babel . It has been very nice working with him even though he is a tough cookie.
Q: Who do you enjoy working the most with in theater?
A: I enjoy working the most with kids and teens, and especially with the children in the refugee camps. I consider my work more of a passion than just a career. It is truly a unique and wonderful feeling working with the kids.
Q: Who are some of your influences?
A: I like a lot of artists and painters but my number one inspiration and idle is my mother. I really look up to her a lot.
Q: You are a writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer, how are you able to manage your time?
A: The truth is my personal life is my work. Most of my work is not paid for, only the lecturing at the university. The people at my work are friends and not just colleagues.
Q: What does laughter mean to you?
A: Laughter is the ultimate escape. It can cure many things from frustration to anger and sadness. The beauty is when you laugh you can’t focus on anything else but just laughing. The whole world just fades away and you can’t feel anything but happiness.
Even if you are in the worst of situations once you start laughing you forget everything.
It’s a really magical feeling.
Q: Can you relate to any of the characters in some of the plays that you have written?
A: With anything that I write, the characters personally reflect me or are a part of my life. I couldn’t write anything that is not genuine.
Q: What achievements do you think you are most famously well known for?
A: Internationally I think it would be Laughter Under the Bombs; a book documenting the war in 2006 as well as looking at drama as a from of therapy. Also The Secret Life of a Woman and The Secret’s of Men; which addressed male and female sexuality in the Arab world and the issues and pressures that come with it.
Personally I enjoy working as a circus clown juggler. I like going to the refugee camps and performing for the children. It’s spontaneous and unplanned and brings a smile to the children’s face which brings so much joy into life.
Q: How has drama therapy helped young adults with coping with the war and dealing with stress in general?
I had the young adults work with the children. And I think it really helped them gain confidence and gave them a sense of purpose in life, because it’s a lot easier to worry about someone else than to worry about yourself. As a child I learned that you need to enjoy and live your life regardless of what is happening around you.
http://www.theatreversusoppression.com/biosharif.htm
http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/808/cu2.htm
Saturday, July 19, 2008
matrimonial ennui
Sitting here in my bed listening to Depeche Mode and eating toasted wheat bread, Kashkaval Cyprus cheese, and cranberries. Crumbs are all over the sheets; but its about time I put them in the wash anyways. As I was walking to my room with a plate in my hands I saw the mailman. I'm not quite sure and cant explain why; but we always seem to exchange glances.
Its already mid July and I feel that my summer has just passed me by. I've been spending alot of my time on matrimonial websites and social networks.And I'm just starting to get fed up with it all. It's too tiring and time consuming. I can't even write a decent personal :
Its already mid July and I feel that my summer has just passed me by. I've been spending alot of my time on matrimonial websites and social networks.And I'm just starting to get fed up with it all. It's too tiring and time consuming. I can't even write a decent personal :
Here is my second attempt at this website. I assume I was just wrong in my approach.There is nothing wrong with walking the path less traveled on. But I choose to suffer instead of giving in. How long can one endure? I refuse to change my values just to please the majority. But this solitary confinement I have trapped myself in; I am unable to distinguish between the norm and ersatz. I am basically looking for a companion who doesn’t necessarily have the same ideology but at least accepts mine. It’s not about finding the perfect person, its trying to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Strange love
Unusual girl
Pain heals
Peculiar feelings
Is it true that when you lose yourself in someone else you find yourself?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
let me be
What is people’s problem, literally? Why doesn’t anybody understand me? Whether I do what is right or what is wrong .It seems as if I cannot win either way. It appears as if it’s a lost cause every time. I could effortlessly take the easy way out and make a mistake, which I might possibly regret. But I’m trying to choose the lesser of the two evils. I want to try and attempt with my best effort to do what is right. But how can I be blamed for trying to do what is correct? I think it’s my right as a human being to be granted this decision of my choice. Why am I being deprived of my right; of the right to make a decision? Who are you to say who I am, or who I am not? If I do not understand myself how can you understand me? The false judgment.
And who are you to try to give me the speech of a lifetime about the birds and the bees all of a sudden? When I felt that I have been ignored almost half of my lifetime. Thinking that you can shut me up with your materialistic plugs… Well it's not about having what you want.Its about wanting what you have.Its better late than never. Well I disagree. There sometimes comes a point and time in life where it’s just a little too late and some things just don’t have the same taste. Things don’t stay the same. Almost everything is ever changing and goes through cycles of transformations and alterations. So I don’t think marriage could possibly have the same taste now, as it would later.
Let’s vent. Let’s just say what’s on our minds. Why not? Who really cares if what I’m saying makes sense or not. I’m just too fed up to care if anything is logically or politically correct. I think that I might be destined to be on my own in this world. I have to learn how to depend on myself because apparently I haven’t been given the support that I actually need, let alone want. The feeling of abandonment can become so tiring. Seriously.
I’m just so sick and tired of everything. Running away from my problem won’t solve a thing. But what happens if my problem is just irresolvable? Do I continue to dwell on something that has no solution? But there may be some sort of hidden and unconscious resolution to what is occurring. And I may not discover it till after the fact. What happens if this so called problem comes back to haunt me? Or, if it continues to expand? I have the solution.
I honestly think that I might have a fraction of the solution at least. Whether temporarily or for the long run, at least it’s a foot in the right direction. Shouldn’t I be given credit for trying to do what is right? Why do we tend to focus on the negative and pass up all that is positive? The world.
We need to focus more on our strengths than our weaknesses. I do not want to boast or brag. But I know I have potential to do so much more. I think I can make a difference in the world. Regardless of how big or small the change is. It’s something, its effort invested for the better. There are so many elements that I have not quite tapped into yet. I know I have been disregarding some very important aspects. But I necessitate for some sort of assistance that I’m not able to attain at this point of time.
They say that when you marry you complete half of your religion. Something so beautiful so grand. Why endlessly wait for such an opportunity? Why let it pass me by? I could wait. But the question is why? Everyone is different. And the world is a bunch of preferences.
Why don’t you just let me be world? Could running free somewhat help me out of this despair? Or could it just bring me in a deeper whole of misery than what I am already in? What defines right and wrong? And who are we as the creations to delineate. If God is the most merciful and compassionate why are we as humans so unmerciful and uncompassionate? If God can forgive than who are we not to forgive? We are born pure and wholesome but as we mature we seem to become more ruthless by the minute. Why does age do this to us? Some of us wise and some of us just never seem to develop. It’s true that good things come to those who wait. But how long can we endure to do nothing and expect something to happen? Is there something wrong with me? Honestly. What is my problem or predicament? Tell me ….
You know what. Just be quiet. Don’t say anything at all. Yes humankind. I’m asking for a moment of silence. Lets all take a moment of silence to just indulge in the moment. And give me my 15 minutes of fame to not make a fool of myself, but rather to just say what’s on my mind and express how I feel. It’s not a matter of who is correct and who is not, but its just stating my point and where I stand. Whether you agree with me or not, intuition can be in my posse of contemplations. And I can only take so much. But one day I might just do as I please whether it pleases others or not. I need to look out for my benefit. Selfishness and self indulgence is what you may think.
Let me be free for once in my lifetime. You can’t keep me in a throttle forever. What’s the worst that can happen? Making a mistake and then learning from it.
Let me be
And who are you to try to give me the speech of a lifetime about the birds and the bees all of a sudden? When I felt that I have been ignored almost half of my lifetime. Thinking that you can shut me up with your materialistic plugs… Well it's not about having what you want.Its about wanting what you have.Its better late than never. Well I disagree. There sometimes comes a point and time in life where it’s just a little too late and some things just don’t have the same taste. Things don’t stay the same. Almost everything is ever changing and goes through cycles of transformations and alterations. So I don’t think marriage could possibly have the same taste now, as it would later.
Let’s vent. Let’s just say what’s on our minds. Why not? Who really cares if what I’m saying makes sense or not. I’m just too fed up to care if anything is logically or politically correct. I think that I might be destined to be on my own in this world. I have to learn how to depend on myself because apparently I haven’t been given the support that I actually need, let alone want. The feeling of abandonment can become so tiring. Seriously.
I’m just so sick and tired of everything. Running away from my problem won’t solve a thing. But what happens if my problem is just irresolvable? Do I continue to dwell on something that has no solution? But there may be some sort of hidden and unconscious resolution to what is occurring. And I may not discover it till after the fact. What happens if this so called problem comes back to haunt me? Or, if it continues to expand? I have the solution.
I honestly think that I might have a fraction of the solution at least. Whether temporarily or for the long run, at least it’s a foot in the right direction. Shouldn’t I be given credit for trying to do what is right? Why do we tend to focus on the negative and pass up all that is positive? The world.
We need to focus more on our strengths than our weaknesses. I do not want to boast or brag. But I know I have potential to do so much more. I think I can make a difference in the world. Regardless of how big or small the change is. It’s something, its effort invested for the better. There are so many elements that I have not quite tapped into yet. I know I have been disregarding some very important aspects. But I necessitate for some sort of assistance that I’m not able to attain at this point of time.
They say that when you marry you complete half of your religion. Something so beautiful so grand. Why endlessly wait for such an opportunity? Why let it pass me by? I could wait. But the question is why? Everyone is different. And the world is a bunch of preferences.
Why don’t you just let me be world? Could running free somewhat help me out of this despair? Or could it just bring me in a deeper whole of misery than what I am already in? What defines right and wrong? And who are we as the creations to delineate. If God is the most merciful and compassionate why are we as humans so unmerciful and uncompassionate? If God can forgive than who are we not to forgive? We are born pure and wholesome but as we mature we seem to become more ruthless by the minute. Why does age do this to us? Some of us wise and some of us just never seem to develop. It’s true that good things come to those who wait. But how long can we endure to do nothing and expect something to happen? Is there something wrong with me? Honestly. What is my problem or predicament? Tell me ….
You know what. Just be quiet. Don’t say anything at all. Yes humankind. I’m asking for a moment of silence. Lets all take a moment of silence to just indulge in the moment. And give me my 15 minutes of fame to not make a fool of myself, but rather to just say what’s on my mind and express how I feel. It’s not a matter of who is correct and who is not, but its just stating my point and where I stand. Whether you agree with me or not, intuition can be in my posse of contemplations. And I can only take so much. But one day I might just do as I please whether it pleases others or not. I need to look out for my benefit. Selfishness and self indulgence is what you may think.
Let me be free for once in my lifetime. You can’t keep me in a throttle forever. What’s the worst that can happen? Making a mistake and then learning from it.
Let me be
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
recap
1. April 17, Political Prisoner's Day
2. April 20, Cannabis Day ... don't ask how I found out about that
3. April 22, Earth Day
4. April 24, Genocide Remembrance Day
5. May 8, Remembrance of Al Nakba - going to a protest on the 11th
I went to this confrence on the 25th, and might I say, I was rather impressed! Many of the things mentioned were not foreign to me, but it was nice that I could relate. I'll write some sort of article or little essay about it in depth later on.
2. April 20, Cannabis Day ... don't ask how I found out about that
3. April 22, Earth Day
4. April 24, Genocide Remembrance Day
5. May 8, Remembrance of Al Nakba - going to a protest on the 11th
I went to this confrence on the 25th, and might I say, I was rather impressed! Many of the things mentioned were not foreign to me, but it was nice that I could relate. I'll write some sort of article or little essay about it in depth later on.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Fed up with politics, man eats vote
NAPLES (Reuters) - Ballot stuffing took on a new meaning in Italy's parliamentary election on Sunday when a man ate his ballot paper in protest at the country's politicians.
Police in Naples said they had charged the 41-year-old businessman with destroying election materials. He said all Italian politicians and politics "are crap" and that he was protesting "against the system."
(Reporting by Laura Viggiano; Writing by Phil Stewart)
Police in Naples said they had charged the 41-year-old businessman with destroying election materials. He said all Italian politicians and politics "are crap" and that he was protesting "against the system."
(Reporting by Laura Viggiano; Writing by Phil Stewart)
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Freud on the Arab-Israeli conflict
Vienna: 26 February 1930: Letter to the Keren Hajessod (Dr. Chaim Koffler)
Freud would not have been surprised at the continuing conflict in the Middle East. He predicted as much 70 years ago.
We can predict Freud’s response because of a letter he wrote to Dr. Chaim Koffler in 1930.
In February 1930 Freud was asked, as a distinguished Jew, to contribute to a petition condemning Arab riots of 1929, in which over a hundred Jewish settlers were killed. This was his reply:
Letter to the Keren Hajessod (Dr. Chaim Koffler)
Vienna: 26 February 1930
Dear Sir,
I cannot do as you wish. I am unable to overcome my aversion to burdening the public with my name, and even the present critical time does not seem to me to warrant it. Whoever wants to influence the masses must give them something rousing and inflammatory and my sober judgement of Zionism does not permit this. I certainly sympathise with its goals, am proud of our University in Jerusalem and am delighted with our settlement’s prosperity. But, on the other hand, I do not think that Palestine could ever become a Jewish state, nor that the Christian and Islamic worlds would ever be prepared to have their holy places under Jewish care. It would have seemed more sensible to me to establish a Jewish homeland on a less historically-burdened land. But I know that such a rational viewpoint would never have gained the enthusiasm of the masses and the financial support of the wealthy. I concede with sorrow that the baseless fanaticism of our people is in part to be blamed for the awakening of Arab distrust. I can raise no sympathy at all for the misdirected piety which transforms a piece of a Herodian wall into a national relic, thereby offending the feelings of the natives.
Now judge for yourself whether I, with such a critical point of view, am the right person to come forward as the solace of a people deluded by unjustified hope.
Your obediant servant,
Freud
source:
www.dandelionsalad.wordpress.com
Freud would not have been surprised at the continuing conflict in the Middle East. He predicted as much 70 years ago.
We can predict Freud’s response because of a letter he wrote to Dr. Chaim Koffler in 1930.
In February 1930 Freud was asked, as a distinguished Jew, to contribute to a petition condemning Arab riots of 1929, in which over a hundred Jewish settlers were killed. This was his reply:
Letter to the Keren Hajessod (Dr. Chaim Koffler)
Vienna: 26 February 1930
Dear Sir,
I cannot do as you wish. I am unable to overcome my aversion to burdening the public with my name, and even the present critical time does not seem to me to warrant it. Whoever wants to influence the masses must give them something rousing and inflammatory and my sober judgement of Zionism does not permit this. I certainly sympathise with its goals, am proud of our University in Jerusalem and am delighted with our settlement’s prosperity. But, on the other hand, I do not think that Palestine could ever become a Jewish state, nor that the Christian and Islamic worlds would ever be prepared to have their holy places under Jewish care. It would have seemed more sensible to me to establish a Jewish homeland on a less historically-burdened land. But I know that such a rational viewpoint would never have gained the enthusiasm of the masses and the financial support of the wealthy. I concede with sorrow that the baseless fanaticism of our people is in part to be blamed for the awakening of Arab distrust. I can raise no sympathy at all for the misdirected piety which transforms a piece of a Herodian wall into a national relic, thereby offending the feelings of the natives.
Now judge for yourself whether I, with such a critical point of view, am the right person to come forward as the solace of a people deluded by unjustified hope.
Your obediant servant,
Freud
source:
www.dandelionsalad.wordpress.com
Saturday, March 29, 2008
a sneaky trip
A few years ago, when I was about 4 or 5,I wanted to go to the store with my father; but he said that I couldn't go.I wanted to go no matter what, even if I had to throw a fit! I wasn't going to stay at home...
While I was trying to convince my dad to let me go, the phone rang.It might have been a long distance call from one of his friends, because he was on the phone for quite a while.As he was on the phone, I began to contemplate my trip to the store.
I'm not sure how the idea came to my head, but I decided to sneak in to the car and hide.My dad's jacket was in the backseat, and I was small enough to hide under it unnoticed.As the car stopped and my dad took the keys out of the ignition,I jumped out from under the jacket.
I remember my dad being absolutely perplexed, but I was more than delighted that I got my trip to the store.
While I was trying to convince my dad to let me go, the phone rang.It might have been a long distance call from one of his friends, because he was on the phone for quite a while.As he was on the phone, I began to contemplate my trip to the store.
I'm not sure how the idea came to my head, but I decided to sneak in to the car and hide.My dad's jacket was in the backseat, and I was small enough to hide under it unnoticed.As the car stopped and my dad took the keys out of the ignition,I jumped out from under the jacket.
I remember my dad being absolutely perplexed, but I was more than delighted that I got my trip to the store.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Ageh Ye Rooz by Faramarz Aslani
This is one of my favorite persian songs and I have finally found the translation of the lyrics!
If one day...
If one day you leave me
out of the blue
and go away on a trip
leaving me alone once again
I'll tell the night to stay with me
I'll tell the wind to sing until dawn
a song from my beloved's land
why are you leaving me alone?
If you forget me
and leave my embrace
I'll become a sea bird
released in the grip of the waves
I'll hush my heart to silence
I'll urge the wind to sing until dawn
a song from my beloved's land
where I won't be left alone
If one day your name
rings in my ear again
If one day your name captures me again
I'll urge my heart not to fret
so I can soothe the pain
but the pain takes over my body
so I can sing for you again
If you desire me once again
as your lover
like in the old days
when we sat until dawn
your heart ought to gain colour
and a tune again
ought to get the colour of a land
where I won't be left alone again
If you want to stay with me
come back while we're still young
and still have skin coverin my bones
Don't leave my heart alone
Let colour into my darkness
and give my night a tune
give me the colour of that land
where I won't be left alone again
If one day...
If one day you leave me
out of the blue
and go away on a trip
leaving me alone once again
I'll tell the night to stay with me
I'll tell the wind to sing until dawn
a song from my beloved's land
why are you leaving me alone?
If you forget me
and leave my embrace
I'll become a sea bird
released in the grip of the waves
I'll hush my heart to silence
I'll urge the wind to sing until dawn
a song from my beloved's land
where I won't be left alone
If one day your name
rings in my ear again
If one day your name captures me again
I'll urge my heart not to fret
so I can soothe the pain
but the pain takes over my body
so I can sing for you again
If you desire me once again
as your lover
like in the old days
when we sat until dawn
your heart ought to gain colour
and a tune again
ought to get the colour of a land
where I won't be left alone again
If you want to stay with me
come back while we're still young
and still have skin coverin my bones
Don't leave my heart alone
Let colour into my darkness
and give my night a tune
give me the colour of that land
where I won't be left alone again
Monday, March 10, 2008
Man or Animal?
Man is the reasoning animal. Such is the claim. – Mark Twain
Humans differ from other animals in terms of mental capacity and intellect. From a biological point of view, humans are classified as animals. It is a biological classification system designed to categorize organisms in groups according to their characteristics. Therefore, biologically we are members of the Anamalia Kingdom.
The definition of an animal is: any member of the kingdom Animalia, comprising multi cellular organisms that have a well-defined shape and usually limited growth, can move voluntarily, actively acquire food and digest it internally, and have sensory and nervous systems that allow them to respond rapidly to stimuli: some classification schemes also include protozoa and certain other single-celled eukaryotes that have motility and animal like nutrition modes.
In an entire niche, a variety of animals can live together pleasantly and harmoniously, but if people from different religions and nationalities were put together in one room the outcome would be chaos and possibly even death.
Humans are the only flag-wavers. Man separates himself from others by nationalism, and looks down on others from distinctive ethnic groups and races. I wonder if a monkey would laugh at a lion for being more harrier?
Humans are oblivious followers. They follow political figures, doctrines, and ideas without knowing the reason for following them. When animals follow each other in a herd or a flock, they follow each other to stay together in order to keep other members from getting lost. Humans affiliate and identify themselves with parties and assemblies to separate from one another.
Humans have so called “unalienable rights”; life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Dictators and tyrannical rulers seemingly think they have absolute power over everything and everyone, and greedily deceive citizens by making them believe that their interest’s lies in the well being of the country. Like in communism for example, where the government controls everything and the people receive very little if anything.
Humans set out on hunting excavations to shoot animals and leave them out to rot just for their amusement, while animals do their job to search for food with no intention on harming the animals, but merely to satisfy their hunger. Humans wantonly destroy what they have no use for.
Eating is a necessity for all living things, but when humans kill animals for the sake of fashion instead of provisions now that’s just a waste. Do we really need snake skin stilettos and fur coats? I mean you wouldn’t see a bear wearing leopard skin underwear or an ape wearing a dog fur purse?
Humans can never be satisfied no matter how much materials or resources they have, it’s never enough. Animals can only gather so much for their winter’s supply, but they don’t continuously accumulate until they start to plunge.
Human’s have the need to acquire more than they need just for the purpose of presentation and appearance.
If you feed and care for an animal, the animal will learn to trust you and show its affection. Yet if you feed a starving human, when he is full he will bite the hand that fed him and forget all the good that was given to him when prosperous.
Lewdness, profanity, and vulgarity, these are all attributes that humans have made. Animals are just animals, what better do they know? We are the highest and most elevated of all the creatures, yet we don’t always seem to act like so. We were granted with the gifts of reason and rationality, but sometimes are actions contradict that.
The concept of revenge is unknown to animals yet humans take revenge with the passion, and practice torture and oppression among others. Man is the one who is vindictive and malicious. He receives gratification from the pain that he causes others. If a cat plays with a mouse, the cat has the excuse that she may not know that the mouse is suffering. The cat might just scare the mouse or even eat it. The cat doesn’t torture the mouse by gouging it eyes out, tearing off its skin, or scratching it till death.
“Men are not gentle, friendly creatures wishing for love, who simply defend themselves if they are attacked, but that a powerful measure of desire for aggression has to be reckoned as part of their instinctual endowment.The result is that their neighbor is to them not only a possible helper or sexual object, but also a temptation to them to gratify their aggressiveness on him, to exploit his capacity for work without recompense, to use him sexually without his consent, to seize his possessions, to humiliate him, to cause him pain, to torture and to kill him."
-Sigmund Freud
In my opinion, human’s only superiorities are their intellect and sense of reason which is seldom used.
Humans differ from other animals in terms of mental capacity and intellect. From a biological point of view, humans are classified as animals. It is a biological classification system designed to categorize organisms in groups according to their characteristics. Therefore, biologically we are members of the Anamalia Kingdom.
The definition of an animal is: any member of the kingdom Animalia, comprising multi cellular organisms that have a well-defined shape and usually limited growth, can move voluntarily, actively acquire food and digest it internally, and have sensory and nervous systems that allow them to respond rapidly to stimuli: some classification schemes also include protozoa and certain other single-celled eukaryotes that have motility and animal like nutrition modes.
In an entire niche, a variety of animals can live together pleasantly and harmoniously, but if people from different religions and nationalities were put together in one room the outcome would be chaos and possibly even death.
Humans are the only flag-wavers. Man separates himself from others by nationalism, and looks down on others from distinctive ethnic groups and races. I wonder if a monkey would laugh at a lion for being more harrier?
Humans are oblivious followers. They follow political figures, doctrines, and ideas without knowing the reason for following them. When animals follow each other in a herd or a flock, they follow each other to stay together in order to keep other members from getting lost. Humans affiliate and identify themselves with parties and assemblies to separate from one another.
Humans have so called “unalienable rights”; life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Dictators and tyrannical rulers seemingly think they have absolute power over everything and everyone, and greedily deceive citizens by making them believe that their interest’s lies in the well being of the country. Like in communism for example, where the government controls everything and the people receive very little if anything.
Humans set out on hunting excavations to shoot animals and leave them out to rot just for their amusement, while animals do their job to search for food with no intention on harming the animals, but merely to satisfy their hunger. Humans wantonly destroy what they have no use for.
Eating is a necessity for all living things, but when humans kill animals for the sake of fashion instead of provisions now that’s just a waste. Do we really need snake skin stilettos and fur coats? I mean you wouldn’t see a bear wearing leopard skin underwear or an ape wearing a dog fur purse?
Humans can never be satisfied no matter how much materials or resources they have, it’s never enough. Animals can only gather so much for their winter’s supply, but they don’t continuously accumulate until they start to plunge.
Human’s have the need to acquire more than they need just for the purpose of presentation and appearance.
If you feed and care for an animal, the animal will learn to trust you and show its affection. Yet if you feed a starving human, when he is full he will bite the hand that fed him and forget all the good that was given to him when prosperous.
Lewdness, profanity, and vulgarity, these are all attributes that humans have made. Animals are just animals, what better do they know? We are the highest and most elevated of all the creatures, yet we don’t always seem to act like so. We were granted with the gifts of reason and rationality, but sometimes are actions contradict that.
The concept of revenge is unknown to animals yet humans take revenge with the passion, and practice torture and oppression among others. Man is the one who is vindictive and malicious. He receives gratification from the pain that he causes others. If a cat plays with a mouse, the cat has the excuse that she may not know that the mouse is suffering. The cat might just scare the mouse or even eat it. The cat doesn’t torture the mouse by gouging it eyes out, tearing off its skin, or scratching it till death.
“Men are not gentle, friendly creatures wishing for love, who simply defend themselves if they are attacked, but that a powerful measure of desire for aggression has to be reckoned as part of their instinctual endowment.The result is that their neighbor is to them not only a possible helper or sexual object, but also a temptation to them to gratify their aggressiveness on him, to exploit his capacity for work without recompense, to use him sexually without his consent, to seize his possessions, to humiliate him, to cause him pain, to torture and to kill him."
-Sigmund Freud
In my opinion, human’s only superiorities are their intellect and sense of reason which is seldom used.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
I'm not celebrating valentine's
The concept of valentine's day is quite idiotic, if you ask my opinion.So today is the day we love each other, and the rest of the 364 days out of the year we hate each other? Let's love each other everyday, not just on valentine's.Beware of contaminated e-cards.The love bug might be spreading around.
Prophet said: "You shall not enter Paradise so long as you do not affirm belief (in all those things which are the articles of faith), and you will not believe as long as you do not love one another. Should I not direct you to a thing which, if you do, will foster love amongst you: (i.e.) give currency to (the practice of paying salutation to one another by saying) As-Salaamu Alaykum."
early spring
As I was walking to class, I saw nature doing what it does best after the winter season. I’ve seen it before on the discovery channel or other educational programs, but I've never actually witnessed it with my own two eyes. I have to say it was pretty amazing. I would have stayed and observed for a longer time, if I wasn’t already late to class. I usually see squirrels around while I’m sitting on that bench near the library after school. But the other day they were getting rather promiscuous.
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