So I haven't blogged in a few months, I know...
But I guess I'm in Beirut right now or to be more specific Khalde(Abu Deeb street)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalde
Everything just seemed to have happened so fast,I was just packing my bags a few hours ago, literally.The plane ride was a complete trance of nausea and sleeplessness, but to my satisfaction Dubai had some of the most convenient bathrooms I've seen at an airport yet..It was my first time taking a non stop flight, it was supposedly 15 hours but due to technical difficulties it was more like 18.I watched three Lebanese films, two which were directed by Marwan Najjar and of course the award winning, "Caramel".
When we finally arrived in Beirut, all of the passengers were dashing out of their seats, and the flight attendants were screeching for everyone to sit down.Regardless of how long one stays abroad in the diaspora, once you set foot back in Lebanon all boundaries are broken.
The airport was a tad bit of a disappointment for me there as there was no toilet paper, or paper towels! Right after our passports were stamped we had to get our bags searched.I didn't quite understand why and I told my dad to just go ahead and that it was unnecessary.But he went anyways and got in some sort of misunderstanding with the security.It was funny how he kept referring to my dad as "kareem". I felt as if we were in Sryia, no offense to any Syrians but your checkpoints are a living nightmare! And then as we were exiting the airport my bag got caught in the automatic turning glass door and it started beeping,I hope they dont have cameras.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
it's official
2/2
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
Saturday, January 31, 2009
notes from the bus
Opening my keepsake box, reminiscing on the past...letters, postcards,ticket stubs, and photos.I find a particularly thought-provoking note.Two years ago... why had I waited so long to reply? There could have been more then a hundred and one reasons why I couldn't contact you.I should have let it go, but I decided to hold on.I feel sorry for what an unsentimental person you are.You have absolute zero knowledge on the essence of nostalgia.Your decaying memory is utterly despairing.
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
Friday, January 09, 2009
Coming of Age
I have been counting the days ... and today marks the end of the first week of the new year. Three weeks left until I am an adult ... a full fledged member of society. I will be 18.
As accustomed when a birthday proceeds to slither and lurk around, the typical questions are asked. My answer is freedom and respect.
So does my period of adolescence end once I turn 18? Do I began to take complete responsibility for my actions or do I still get an allowance of two more years to discover myself, considering that the particular suffix "teen" is still attached to me for a little while longer? I never had much of a fulfilling childhood and now my so called “teenage hood” is over as well .I’m rebelling.
I can’t conceive the idea that I actually started this blog three years ago. I often go back and read posts from the previous years and laugh, thinking how something of such frivolity could be of any importance. I am always tempted to delete them but then I pause… and let them be. I keep them there to see my progression throughout time, I suppose. I want to change the name of my blog and the layout. I have been debating this for months now.
It's been a while since I have really written anything... Could be writers block, possibly loss of confidence, or post partum depression. Maybe even a bit of bi polar or borderline personality disorder. I just love to label myself.I have more than I can bear to hold in one palm to reflect upon. I seem to be at ease with my expression via short stories.
People have accused me of being evasive or a communist because I usually jump and plunge from topic to topic. But they cannot apprehend or even began to perceive what is in my head. They do not know that my thoughts are overflowing and tend to accidently spill, dripping leaving trails of my presence and aspirations.The past few years of my life have consisted of complete obsession with marriage and other sort of explorations that shall not be named (hint starts with the letter "s").
I have made a compromise to postpone marriage for a few years but I will not postpone my education as well. I’ll be willing to forget about marriage for a while if you allow me to drown in an endless pool of books, reading and only coming to the shallow surface for a breath of air.
You accuse me of wanting to grow up too fast. I know what I want from life and I’m going to get it, that’s all it really is. Some things have become more or less of a priority for me. Maybe my ultra passive personality has forced me to have an aggressive outlook on life. I can change my mind as I please, so I am kindly asking you not to interfere with my changes. “A wise man changes his mind, a fool never”
Being Arab has never felt so arbitrary for me. I’m not losing my religion I just refuse to associate myself with sectarianistic ideologies and live off an illusion called Arab nationalism.
I hear the news in the background
As accustomed when a birthday proceeds to slither and lurk around, the typical questions are asked. My answer is freedom and respect.
So does my period of adolescence end once I turn 18? Do I began to take complete responsibility for my actions or do I still get an allowance of two more years to discover myself, considering that the particular suffix "teen" is still attached to me for a little while longer? I never had much of a fulfilling childhood and now my so called “teenage hood” is over as well .I’m rebelling.
I can’t conceive the idea that I actually started this blog three years ago. I often go back and read posts from the previous years and laugh, thinking how something of such frivolity could be of any importance. I am always tempted to delete them but then I pause… and let them be. I keep them there to see my progression throughout time, I suppose. I want to change the name of my blog and the layout. I have been debating this for months now.
It's been a while since I have really written anything... Could be writers block, possibly loss of confidence, or post partum depression. Maybe even a bit of bi polar or borderline personality disorder. I just love to label myself.I have more than I can bear to hold in one palm to reflect upon. I seem to be at ease with my expression via short stories.
People have accused me of being evasive or a communist because I usually jump and plunge from topic to topic. But they cannot apprehend or even began to perceive what is in my head. They do not know that my thoughts are overflowing and tend to accidently spill, dripping leaving trails of my presence and aspirations.The past few years of my life have consisted of complete obsession with marriage and other sort of explorations that shall not be named (hint starts with the letter "s").
I have made a compromise to postpone marriage for a few years but I will not postpone my education as well. I’ll be willing to forget about marriage for a while if you allow me to drown in an endless pool of books, reading and only coming to the shallow surface for a breath of air.
You accuse me of wanting to grow up too fast. I know what I want from life and I’m going to get it, that’s all it really is. Some things have become more or less of a priority for me. Maybe my ultra passive personality has forced me to have an aggressive outlook on life. I can change my mind as I please, so I am kindly asking you not to interfere with my changes. “A wise man changes his mind, a fool never”
Being Arab has never felt so arbitrary for me. I’m not losing my religion I just refuse to associate myself with sectarianistic ideologies and live off an illusion called Arab nationalism.
I hear the news in the background
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Sofien’s Voyage to San Francisco
The dusty roads of Ben Arous were filled with young boys and girls playing ball. Humidity diffused the air as sweat trickled down their olive skinned foreheads.
"Sofien come inside the cous cous is getting cold, you can play football later”, beckoned his mother.
Sofien cantered as fast as he could, envisioning the melting morsels of semolina in his mouth. Alas, he arrived removing his shoes by the door and sitting crossed legged aside his younger siblings eating supper.
Sofien and his friend Muneer were in the university café drinking mint tea as they saw an ad posted on the front wall. Une fois de temps en temps la vie voyage, gagner deux billets pour l’Amerique…
“We have to find a way to raise money for that trip”, said Sofien.
Muneer lightheartedly laughed at Sofien and said, “Ya sadiqi Sofien you are majnoun! Yalla lets go to class.”
After class Sofien sauntered home slowly and contemplated the ad, determinedly he walked to the city to look for a job. Throughout the two months Sofien worked as a delivery boy in the afternoon and studied at night. With a week left until the trip Sofien and Muneer still didn’t have enough money. Sofien called his uncle in France to send him 500 francs, begged his brother for 800 dinars, and then received 1,600 Deutsche Marks from a friend in Germany.
Counting the money on the cold damp kitchen floor they were short of exactly one dinar, Sofien and Muneer began too look ubiquitously. The house muddled and cluttered, Sofien inexplicably found a dinar in his back pocket.
The week until December 23 was ceaseless perpetuity that felt to have no end. With Sufien’s bags packed, shirt neatly ironed and tucked in; his mother kissed him on his forehead as a tear seeped through her ebony colored eyes on to her cheek.
"May God be with you my dearest son”, cried Sofien’s mother: as she waved goodbye.
Rushing to find a taxi on time to get to the airport, they haggled with the taxi driver and were on their way to Tunis-Carthage International Airport. Sofien and Muneer were the last two people to board on flight 747. There weren’t any seats left in the economy class section, so they were given first class seats. The plane ride to New York was an envisagement of euphoric rapture. The first thing their eyes caught sight of was Times Square; the hotel was only about 6 or 7 blocks away.
As they arrived to the hotel, they set their luggage down in the far corner of the room and spotted 2 bottles of champagne on the bed. Sofien and Muneer both gave each other witty looks; they had an idea. They had heard partying a few doors down as they were on their way up to their hotel. So Sofien and Muneer knocked, and a man with a tie around his head and vomit on his shirt opened the door.
"Hello Mr. would you like to buy these bottles of champagne from us” cachinnated, Sofien.
"Ya… Ya … wait one minute… pal… let me get my uh… cash”, slurred the intoxicated man.
The amount of money that the man handed Sofien and Muneer was rather hefty. They both divided the money equally. Sofien bought a ticket to San Francisco while Muneer moved to the South End of Boston.
As Sufien began walking between the intersection of Haight and Ashbury, he came across a petite sized restaurant called Le Kerkennah. Sufien ordered a plate of cous cous and merguez, the food tasted distinctively familiar. As he closed his eyes, he remembered playing football outside with his friends on the dusty road of Ben Arous while his mother was calling him inside to eat lunch.
Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to ~ John Ed Pearce
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I have demised to remember what I was looking for. Am I searching for something that I’m afraid to find? I thought that if I got lost, I would find myself. Nothing and everything feels like home. Where exactly do I belong? To which ism do I relate to?
Emotionless and numb. I’m tired, bent, and broken. What do I have to lose? Taking myself for granted in moments of frustration. Advantages of the innocent. Hiding from the world... Escaping in my own desperate insanity; wandering in my diminutive pandemia.
This forbidden adrenaline rush is iniquitous, but it feels so concupiscence. Guilty with pleasure. Superficial power. Getting high off an illusion.
Too numb to apprehend. How can I have a sense of right and wrong if I’m not alive anymore? How can I write about life when I’m not living a tale to tell?
Wake me up from this dream. Arouse me insightfully. Induce my unconscious emotions.
Echoing voice in the back of my head
I only wanted love
Longing aesthetics
The nature of sensation
Talks of food, الجنس ,and family: eat, love, and pray. I used to live off a prayer.
When will tonight come?
Why am I waiting?
Thursday, July 24, 2008
This was an interview that I did a few months back.It was my first ever via telephone.My voice was trembling; I was quite nervous and in awe with admiration that I could barely speak.
Interview with Sharif Abdunnur
Interview with Sharif Abdunnur
A very good friend of Al Nabad and a multi talented artist; Sharif Abdunnur is a genuine writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer. The soft spoken and very handsome Abdunnur told us a little about his current projects and gave us an inside scoop about his personal life.
Q: Did you have interest in fine arts as a child?
A: As a child I used to paint a lot and I won several awards for drawing. My interest in fine arts began when I was a little older.
Q: You were born in Lebanon and moved in the United States while you were younger, what made you move back to Lebanon?
A: I lived all around the world but the closest thing to home was Lebanon . Ideally I would like to go back to Palestine . But unfortunately I can only go as a tourist.
Q: What were some of the places that you traveled to while you were a child?
A: My family and I traveled all around the sates and we often went to Iraq because my father had work there.
Q: Your parents were members of the UN; did that inspire to write the play Unacceptable?
A: Not really. I think world relief organizations have failed to produce any real achievements and are not making any effective changes in the world, and their failure to make any significant changes in the world despite their billions of dollars that they have. Just like any other organization is audited I think the UN should be audited as well.
Q: On an average how often do you produce or write plays?
A: I am constantly writing and every couple weeks I write plays. But it takes a lot of time to produce plays, so not every thing I write is always made into a project that is produced.
Pain and conflict can sometimes be inspirations for writing.
Q: What do you think of theater in the Middle East?
A: It has a lot of space. Theater in the Middle East really needs to be supported by the local government. And with film it’s hard to complete with Hollywood . So the only way to preserve our true identity as Arabs is through theater.
Q: When you are acting do you ever get stage fright?
A: Yes, every single time. It’s actually a great way to loose weight.
Q: How has the war affected your work? And if it has, has it affected you positively or negatively?
A: I grew up on the front lines and have experienced war since I was a young child. War has made me realize what my main priorities are. It has been such a big factor and supplement in my life.
Q: What is it like working with Jawad al Assadi?
A: He is a good friend and a great man. He is one of the toughest directors out there because he is constantly creating and recreating. I’m currently the director of his new theater Babel . It has been very nice working with him even though he is a tough cookie.
Q: Who do you enjoy working the most with in theater?
A: I enjoy working the most with kids and teens, and especially with the children in the refugee camps. I consider my work more of a passion than just a career. It is truly a unique and wonderful feeling working with the kids.
Q: Who are some of your influences?
A: I like a lot of artists and painters but my number one inspiration and idle is my mother. I really look up to her a lot.
Q: You are a writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer, how are you able to manage your time?
A: The truth is my personal life is my work. Most of my work is not paid for, only the lecturing at the university. The people at my work are friends and not just colleagues.
Q: What does laughter mean to you?
A: Laughter is the ultimate escape. It can cure many things from frustration to anger and sadness. The beauty is when you laugh you can’t focus on anything else but just laughing. The whole world just fades away and you can’t feel anything but happiness.
Even if you are in the worst of situations once you start laughing you forget everything.
It’s a really magical feeling.
Q: Can you relate to any of the characters in some of the plays that you have written?
A: With anything that I write, the characters personally reflect me or are a part of my life. I couldn’t write anything that is not genuine.
Q: What achievements do you think you are most famously well known for?
A: Internationally I think it would be Laughter Under the Bombs; a book documenting the war in 2006 as well as looking at drama as a from of therapy. Also The Secret Life of a Woman and The Secret’s of Men; which addressed male and female sexuality in the Arab world and the issues and pressures that come with it.
Personally I enjoy working as a circus clown juggler. I like going to the refugee camps and performing for the children. It’s spontaneous and unplanned and brings a smile to the children’s face which brings so much joy into life.
Q: How has drama therapy helped young adults with coping with the war and dealing with stress in general?
I had the young adults work with the children. And I think it really helped them gain confidence and gave them a sense of purpose in life, because it’s a lot easier to worry about someone else than to worry about yourself. As a child I learned that you need to enjoy and live your life regardless of what is happening around you.
http://www.theatreversusoppression.com/biosharif.htm
http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/808/cu2.htm
Q: Did you have interest in fine arts as a child?
A: As a child I used to paint a lot and I won several awards for drawing. My interest in fine arts began when I was a little older.
Q: You were born in Lebanon and moved in the United States while you were younger, what made you move back to Lebanon?
A: I lived all around the world but the closest thing to home was Lebanon . Ideally I would like to go back to Palestine . But unfortunately I can only go as a tourist.
Q: What were some of the places that you traveled to while you were a child?
A: My family and I traveled all around the sates and we often went to Iraq because my father had work there.
Q: Your parents were members of the UN; did that inspire to write the play Unacceptable?
A: Not really. I think world relief organizations have failed to produce any real achievements and are not making any effective changes in the world, and their failure to make any significant changes in the world despite their billions of dollars that they have. Just like any other organization is audited I think the UN should be audited as well.
Q: On an average how often do you produce or write plays?
A: I am constantly writing and every couple weeks I write plays. But it takes a lot of time to produce plays, so not every thing I write is always made into a project that is produced.
Pain and conflict can sometimes be inspirations for writing.
Q: What do you think of theater in the Middle East?
A: It has a lot of space. Theater in the Middle East really needs to be supported by the local government. And with film it’s hard to complete with Hollywood . So the only way to preserve our true identity as Arabs is through theater.
Q: When you are acting do you ever get stage fright?
A: Yes, every single time. It’s actually a great way to loose weight.
Q: How has the war affected your work? And if it has, has it affected you positively or negatively?
A: I grew up on the front lines and have experienced war since I was a young child. War has made me realize what my main priorities are. It has been such a big factor and supplement in my life.
Q: What is it like working with Jawad al Assadi?
A: He is a good friend and a great man. He is one of the toughest directors out there because he is constantly creating and recreating. I’m currently the director of his new theater Babel . It has been very nice working with him even though he is a tough cookie.
Q: Who do you enjoy working the most with in theater?
A: I enjoy working the most with kids and teens, and especially with the children in the refugee camps. I consider my work more of a passion than just a career. It is truly a unique and wonderful feeling working with the kids.
Q: Who are some of your influences?
A: I like a lot of artists and painters but my number one inspiration and idle is my mother. I really look up to her a lot.
Q: You are a writer, director, teacher, actor, counselor, and lecturer, how are you able to manage your time?
A: The truth is my personal life is my work. Most of my work is not paid for, only the lecturing at the university. The people at my work are friends and not just colleagues.
Q: What does laughter mean to you?
A: Laughter is the ultimate escape. It can cure many things from frustration to anger and sadness. The beauty is when you laugh you can’t focus on anything else but just laughing. The whole world just fades away and you can’t feel anything but happiness.
Even if you are in the worst of situations once you start laughing you forget everything.
It’s a really magical feeling.
Q: Can you relate to any of the characters in some of the plays that you have written?
A: With anything that I write, the characters personally reflect me or are a part of my life. I couldn’t write anything that is not genuine.
Q: What achievements do you think you are most famously well known for?
A: Internationally I think it would be Laughter Under the Bombs; a book documenting the war in 2006 as well as looking at drama as a from of therapy. Also The Secret Life of a Woman and The Secret’s of Men; which addressed male and female sexuality in the Arab world and the issues and pressures that come with it.
Personally I enjoy working as a circus clown juggler. I like going to the refugee camps and performing for the children. It’s spontaneous and unplanned and brings a smile to the children’s face which brings so much joy into life.
Q: How has drama therapy helped young adults with coping with the war and dealing with stress in general?
I had the young adults work with the children. And I think it really helped them gain confidence and gave them a sense of purpose in life, because it’s a lot easier to worry about someone else than to worry about yourself. As a child I learned that you need to enjoy and live your life regardless of what is happening around you.
http://www.theatreversusoppression.com/biosharif.htm
http://weekly.ahram.org.eg/2006/808/cu2.htm
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