let me be

What is people’s problem, literally? Why doesn’t anybody understand me? Whether I do what is right or what is wrong .It seems as if I cannot win either way. It appears as if it’s a lost cause every time. I could effortlessly take the easy way out and make a mistake, which I might possibly regret. But I’m trying to choose the lesser of the two evils. I want to try and attempt with my best effort to do what is right. But how can I be blamed for trying to do what is correct? I think it’s my right as a human being to be granted this decision of my choice. Why am I being deprived of my right; of the right to make a decision? Who are you to say who I am, or who I am not? If I do not understand myself how can you understand me? The false judgment.

And who are you to try to give me the speech of a lifetime about the birds and the bees all of a sudden? When I felt that I have been ignored almost half of my lifetime. Thinking that you can shut me up with your materialistic plugs… Well it's not about having what you want.Its about wanting what you have.Its better late than never. Well I disagree. There sometimes comes a point and time in life where it’s just a little too late and some things just don’t have the same taste. Things don’t stay the same. Almost everything is ever changing and goes through cycles of transformations and alterations. So I don’t think marriage could possibly have the same taste now, as it would later.

Let’s vent. Let’s just say what’s on our minds. Why not? Who really cares if what I’m saying makes sense or not. I’m just too fed up to care if anything is logically or politically correct. I think that I might be destined to be on my own in this world. I have to learn how to depend on myself because apparently I haven’t been given the support that I actually need, let alone want. The feeling of abandonment can become so tiring. Seriously.

I’m just so sick and tired of everything. Running away from my problem won’t solve a thing. But what happens if my problem is just irresolvable? Do I continue to dwell on something that has no solution? But there may be some sort of hidden and unconscious resolution to what is occurring. And I may not discover it till after the fact. What happens if this so called problem comes back to haunt me? Or, if it continues to expand? I have the solution.

I honestly think that I might have a fraction of the solution at least. Whether temporarily or for the long run, at least it’s a foot in the right direction. Shouldn’t I be given credit for trying to do what is right? Why do we tend to focus on the negative and pass up all that is positive? The world.

We need to focus more on our strengths than our weaknesses. I do not want to boast or brag. But I know I have potential to do so much more. I think I can make a difference in the world. Regardless of how big or small the change is. It’s something, its effort invested for the better. There are so many elements that I have not quite tapped into yet. I know I have been disregarding some very important aspects. But I necessitate for some sort of assistance that I’m not able to attain at this point of time.

They say that when you marry you complete half of your religion. Something so beautiful so grand. Why endlessly wait for such an opportunity? Why let it pass me by? I could wait. But the question is why? Everyone is different. And the world is a bunch of preferences.

Why don’t you just let me be world? Could running free somewhat help me out of this despair? Or could it just bring me in a deeper whole of misery than what I am already in? What defines right and wrong? And who are we as the creations to delineate. If God is the most merciful and compassionate why are we as humans so unmerciful and uncompassionate? If God can forgive than who are we not to forgive? We are born pure and wholesome but as we mature we seem to become more ruthless by the minute. Why does age do this to us? Some of us wise and some of us just never seem to develop. It’s true that good things come to those who wait. But how long can we endure to do nothing and expect something to happen? Is there something wrong with me? Honestly. What is my problem or predicament? Tell me ….

You know what. Just be quiet. Don’t say anything at all. Yes humankind. I’m asking for a moment of silence. Lets all take a moment of silence to just indulge in the moment. And give me my 15 minutes of fame to not make a fool of myself, but rather to just say what’s on my mind and express how I feel. It’s not a matter of who is correct and who is not, but its just stating my point and where I stand. Whether you agree with me or not, intuition can be in my posse of contemplations. And I can only take so much. But one day I might just do as I please whether it pleases others or not. I need to look out for my benefit. Selfishness and self indulgence is what you may think.

Let me be free for once in my lifetime. You can’t keep me in a throttle forever. What’s the worst that can happen? Making a mistake and then learning from it.





Let me be