As I exit a world of maternal affection
I find myself coming into a fixation of fetishes and facades
Carefree buds of adolescence contrasting
Underwire and bustiers of adulthood
The bosom tends to conceal the heart
With a superficial uber thin wall
Tightening the fickle strings into a perfect knot
An interior like cavity bound together with flesh
Easily broken with the slightest touch of the tip of an index finger
Carnality at its best
Frontage supported
Stuffed with extra padding and tissue
Synthetics make a comeback
Implanted subconsciously and almost forcefully
Asymmetrical in beauty
Each of them distinct in proportion
Nonconformity has never looked so divine
Silicon compressed
Withering and decaying into a shallow pool
of alabaster, of ivory, of froth
It was only two percent …
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
An epiphany or just a sign of maturity?
So, I've supposedly changed my major. My dreams of becoming a world renowned journalist and activist have withered. Since the age of fourteen or fifteen, about the time that I started this blog, writing was the only pastime that I knew. Why is it that now I dread the thought of writing a critical analysis essay on George Orwell's Politics and the English Language, yet I can enjoy countless hours of random facts about nutrition and biology? It's not to say that I've completely abandoned any form of literature related activities or interests, as I am a staunch fan of Middle Eastern fiction and Spoken Word Poetry Readings.I'm taking two summer courses, English 300 and Nutrition and I'm enjoying the latter much more than the former.It was a way to get out of another tiring and stressful vacation overseas with overbearing relatives, and instead spend it alone in retrospection and gluttony.
However, as a career I'm not too sure if it's what I really want to pursue. For the longest time I had this ring of stubbornness floating around my head.I thought that getting a degree in a field that one wasn't passionate about was the most unethical thing one can do.I wanted to be able to have my job be my hobby as well.But when reality hit me, my perspective started to change.Some guy once told me,"those who aren't majoring in marketable degrees shouldn't be going to school". I don't remember his exact words, but it was something along those lines. I am by no means advocating for that, but I think a woman has to do what a woman needs to do. If I'm going to learn how to get over my "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" and stop thinking that marriage is the only way I'll actually have a life, I need to start learning how to depend on myself....
However, as a career I'm not too sure if it's what I really want to pursue. For the longest time I had this ring of stubbornness floating around my head.I thought that getting a degree in a field that one wasn't passionate about was the most unethical thing one can do.I wanted to be able to have my job be my hobby as well.But when reality hit me, my perspective started to change.Some guy once told me,"those who aren't majoring in marketable degrees shouldn't be going to school". I don't remember his exact words, but it was something along those lines. I am by no means advocating for that, but I think a woman has to do what a woman needs to do. If I'm going to learn how to get over my "Damsel in Distress Syndrome" and stop thinking that marriage is the only way I'll actually have a life, I need to start learning how to depend on myself....
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Thursday, July 01, 2010
HAS IT BEEN A YEAR?
This is a disgrace... sheer insanity! It looks like I haven't blogged in over a year.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Am I really here?
So I haven't blogged in a few months, I know...
But I guess I'm in Beirut right now or to be more specific Khalde(Abu Deeb street)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalde
Everything just seemed to have happened so fast,I was just packing my bags a few hours ago, literally.The plane ride was a complete trance of nausea and sleeplessness, but to my satisfaction Dubai had some of the most convenient bathrooms I've seen at an airport yet..It was my first time taking a non stop flight, it was supposedly 15 hours but due to technical difficulties it was more like 18.I watched three Lebanese films, two which were directed by Marwan Najjar and of course the award winning, "Caramel".
When we finally arrived in Beirut, all of the passengers were dashing out of their seats, and the flight attendants were screeching for everyone to sit down.Regardless of how long one stays abroad in the diaspora, once you set foot back in Lebanon all boundaries are broken.
The airport was a tad bit of a disappointment for me there as there was no toilet paper, or paper towels! Right after our passports were stamped we had to get our bags searched.I didn't quite understand why and I told my dad to just go ahead and that it was unnecessary.But he went anyways and got in some sort of misunderstanding with the security.It was funny how he kept referring to my dad as "kareem". I felt as if we were in Sryia, no offense to any Syrians but your checkpoints are a living nightmare! And then as we were exiting the airport my bag got caught in the automatic turning glass door and it started beeping,I hope they dont have cameras.
But I guess I'm in Beirut right now or to be more specific Khalde(Abu Deeb street)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalde
Everything just seemed to have happened so fast,I was just packing my bags a few hours ago, literally.The plane ride was a complete trance of nausea and sleeplessness, but to my satisfaction Dubai had some of the most convenient bathrooms I've seen at an airport yet..It was my first time taking a non stop flight, it was supposedly 15 hours but due to technical difficulties it was more like 18.I watched three Lebanese films, two which were directed by Marwan Najjar and of course the award winning, "Caramel".
When we finally arrived in Beirut, all of the passengers were dashing out of their seats, and the flight attendants were screeching for everyone to sit down.Regardless of how long one stays abroad in the diaspora, once you set foot back in Lebanon all boundaries are broken.
The airport was a tad bit of a disappointment for me there as there was no toilet paper, or paper towels! Right after our passports were stamped we had to get our bags searched.I didn't quite understand why and I told my dad to just go ahead and that it was unnecessary.But he went anyways and got in some sort of misunderstanding with the security.It was funny how he kept referring to my dad as "kareem". I felt as if we were in Sryia, no offense to any Syrians but your checkpoints are a living nightmare! And then as we were exiting the airport my bag got caught in the automatic turning glass door and it started beeping,I hope they dont have cameras.
Monday, February 02, 2009
it's official
2/2
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
12:12
I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You're young enough to get away with things, but you're old enough, too ~ Liv Tyler
Saturday, January 31, 2009
notes from the bus
Opening my keepsake box, reminiscing on the past...letters, postcards,ticket stubs, and photos.I find a particularly thought-provoking note.Two years ago... why had I waited so long to reply? There could have been more then a hundred and one reasons why I couldn't contact you.I should have let it go, but I decided to hold on.I feel sorry for what an unsentimental person you are.You have absolute zero knowledge on the essence of nostalgia.Your decaying memory is utterly despairing.
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
Once again my earnest intentions of a simple hello have been misinterpreted for harassment.
Hello is this " " ?
Who's asking?
Well I am just wondering if this was " " , that's all.If I have the wrong number please let me know.
How did you get my number and why are you calling me?
Well I was looking through some of my old papers and I found your number.
WHAT, when did I give you my number?
About two years ago on the bus.
So you're telling me that I gave you my number and after two years you decided to call me?
Yeah
I don't know why you are calling me or what the hell you want from me.First of all why would I take the bus if I have a car?
I don't know
What bus was this?
To " "
What did I look like then how tall was I?
Well I don't exactly remember I mean it was two years ago.Why don't you just save us both the trouble and tell me if your name is really " " or not.
background noises: Just tell her you're married
Here talk to my daughter
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